Monday, February 4, 2008

Humor returns!

Now, you know you're gonna have a bad day when you see some of the stuff on this list!!

Bushism of the day, and only 352 days to go!!

Bumper sticker for the rest of us:
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear. (So be sure to vote!!)

Bush vows that this years' State of the Union Address won't be his last, and legislators are urged to deliver tax rebates before the satellites strike, and end life on earth.

For those of you that didn't watch the Super Bowl (both of you), you should know that professional sports are very interesting.

Funny news story:
If you do the crime, don't leave *anything* behind!!

Speaking of crime...
Microsoft has patented a frustration detection system; (insert 'Terminator' theme music here) Is Microsoft really Cyberdyne Systems? One blogs' opinion: (language warning - may not be SFW)

Word of the Day:
Gazump (verb)

Pronunciation: [gê-'zêmp]

Definition: 'John gazumped Martha' = 'John rejected the price for his house offered by Martha, a would-be buyer, despite having originally accepted her offer, because he decided to accept a subsequent higher offer.'

Usage: Often used in the passive: "I had been looking forward to moving to Kensington, but I was gazumped at the last moment." This word presupposes a legal framework for house purchase, such as obtains in England, where the seller's acceptance of the purchaser's offer price is not binding on the seller until the 'exchange of contracts', usually 30 days before completion of the sale.

Suggested Usage: "I had arranged to help Andrea with her algebra homework, but that nerd Norman, who is always top in math, has gazumped me." "We were in negotiation with a famous pianist to play at to our local musical festival next October, but now we've been gazumped by Carnegie Hall—he's got an engagement there instead."

Etymology: From Yiddish gezumph "overcharge." It was adapted to real estate dealings in London in the 1970s, at a time of rapidly rising house prices."
–Dr. Language,

Quote of the Day:
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett

Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane.

One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"

The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about nuclear power?"

The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first:

"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"

The first guy says, "I don't know."

The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know s&$t?"

Cute cartoon:

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